btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
