Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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