i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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