let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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