i think i have herpe
just one?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
