If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
