Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
