Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
