i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
