i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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