As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
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if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
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As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf