What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird