this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize