Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
