literally had 100 drinks last night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize