I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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