u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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