Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize