She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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