I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize