You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize