No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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