I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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