Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
