Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize