so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize