I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
