there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
