so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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