well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
