it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
