so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
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We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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