I want to make a zoo with you.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just high enough for therapy.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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