You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
