I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
