My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
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He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
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Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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