fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
