winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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