At least make sure they are 18
Why
Someone shit on the floor
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
