walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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