Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
