If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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