Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
