it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
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