I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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