addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
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