a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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