And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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