Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
