and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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