Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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