just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
