Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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