We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
