At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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