How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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