she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
